I feel so depressed. more so than usual. i have no motivation to do anything. i have no job right now. i don't even no if i can re-apply for the student pass. but i am not sure if i still want to further my studies.....i am having second thoughts.
now i am living with my parents....it's so hard living with my parents. they criticize eveything i do.
My chest feels so heavy. I no one to talk to. my chest is hurting now.
sometimes, i wish i can find someone who will hold me and tell me everything will be alright. someone who will not criticize me...someone who will support.
I realize I cannot find someone. i don't deserve love and support. i am too broken. i am scared of trusting people....so how can a girl trust me......
you know, i had some thoughts....of contacting you...just to say hi....maybe ......
but no,,, I won't contact you. it will be wrong. you have most probably forgotten about me... i don't want you to remember me... to remember all the bad things i have done to you. I see from your facebook post......you seem to be doing good.....that's great, Peng.
I still think about you, Peng....I still miss you.......but I realize you are different person now. There is no way you will like me now....I am still an asshole....
Bye, Peng.
