Realized

Dear Peng,

I think I shouldn't have post all that emo-ness of mine. It was really dumb of me. I read somewhere on the lowyat forum about a guy who broke up with his girlfriend but still kept in contact with her. Then girl post in the forum asking what is the guy thinking and what the guy actually wants?

Are you feeling like that, Peng? or Were you feeling like that, Peng? I think you were, right....from your facebook statuses.

I am sorry, Peng.  I should "maned-up" and control my feelings. Sorry I made you feel the way you felt.(Not sure how to describe it, though)

But what should I do about my feelings for you? I am not too sure how to.. erm...go about now.

Should I just forced myself to don't care about my feelings? Is that the correct action I should take? Should I just forced myself to forget? I am really new to this break-up scenario.. and I don't know what is the next step. I know one has to move on...but how? Should I just go with the flow? I am really confused.

I wonder if you would  still be angry if I continued to write here? Would you be angry, Peng?

Well, I can't deny that talking to you made me forget my worries/stress. Now that you are gone, I need something to channel my stress. Even though this blog is not the real you, I think it does help a little, although the pain in my chest is still there.

Well, Peng I know I won't get any replies from you, which makes this blog sux, but I am still figuring out what to do or what is my next step. At the moment, I feel so helpless and useless and worthless. So...I don't know.....

I will continue to pray for your happiness, Peng. That is one thing I am sure of.  Take care~ =)